| The Elephant in the Moon By Samuel Butler
A learned society of late, The glory of a foreign state, Agreed, upon a summer's night, To search the Moon by her own light; To make an inventory of all Her real estate, and personal; And make an accurate survey Of all her lands, and how they lay, As true as that of Ireland, where The sly surveyors stole a shire: T' observe her country, how 'twas planted, With what sh' abounded most, or wanted; And make the proper'st observations For settling of new plantations, If the society should incline T' attempt so glorious a design.
This was the purpose of their meeting, For which they chose a time as fitting; When at the full her radiant light And influence too were at their height. And now the lofty tube, the scale With which they heaven itself assail, Was mounted full against the Moon; And all stood ready to fall on, Impatient who should have the honour To plant an ensign first upon her. When one, who for his deep belief Was virtuoso then in chief, Approved the most profound , and wise, To solve impossibilities, Advancing gravely, to apply To th' optic glass his judging eye, Cried, 'Strange!' - then reinforced his sight Against the Moon with all his might, And bent his penetrating brow, As if he meant to gaze her through; When all the rest began t'admire, And, like a train, from him took fire, Surprised with wonder, beforehand, At what they did not understand, Cried out, impatient to know what The matter was they wondered at.
Quoth he, 'Th'inhabitants o'th Moon, Who, when the sun shines hot at noon, Do live in cellars underground, Of eight miles deep, and eighty round, In which at once they fortify Against the sun and th' enemy, Which they count towns and cities there, Because their people' civiller Than those rude peasants, that are found To live upon the upper ground, Called Privolans, with whom they are Perpetually in open war; And now both armies, highly enraged, Are in a bloody fight engaged, And many fall on both sides slain, As by the glass 'tis clear, and plain. Look quickly then, that every one May see the fight before 'tis done.' With that a great philosopher, Admired, and famous far and near, As one of singular invention, But universal comprehension, Applied one eye, and half a nose Unto the optic engine close.
Quoth he, 'A stranger sight appears Than e'er was seen in all the spheres, A wonder more unparalled, Than ever mortal tube beheld; An elephant from one of those Two mighty armies is broke loose, And with the horror of the fight Appears amazed, and in a fright; Look quickly, lest the sight of us Should cause the startled beast t'imboss. It is a large one, far more great Than e'er was bred in Africa yet; From which we boldly may infer, The Moon is much the fruitfuller. |